spiraling out of control

We have lost men and women.

Brothers and sisters dear to us.  Their courage and buoyancy will never be forgotten.  God bless you, where ever you may be. Each and every one of you.

Before our great loss we harnessed the last push.  I don’t know how but we got to Brussels.  We ate fish, Nathan got sick. We got to Amsterdam. Biff got stoned. We got to Berlin.  We all got Adler.

We are all dead here, or at least dieing from it.  Only surrender will help us now.  If we surrender to the death and languid exhaustion we may be able to slip away unnoticed and jump a plane to Paris.  This I’m sure we can do.  My fear now is what  will be waiting for us at the end of the flight. To finish us off.  To send us to the packing factory – Strip us of our sanity and paint our naked, frailed skin in a harlot frenzy, pumping us furiously out of vending machines to hapless consumers all over France.

I have only ever watched television and from this experience alone I know that it is not for the faint hearted.  But in it. On it. For it.  Fuck my Balls!  And French tv too.

Its best I think to leave thought alone for a while. Its warm where we are, dark and silent in parts. We should just enjoy this fleeting tenderness now while it envelopes gracefully.

What will come will come. Soon enough…


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